Wanting the want

Church. Some of us go and some of us do not. We all have our reasons for both. For myself, Sunday morning comes and going to church depends on Renee wanting to go. I am usually not motivated to attend. When I do go it doesn't take me long to figure out why I enjoy church. The fellowship, the praise and worship, and most of all, the teaching. When I leave I am motivated to take on the world. I feel energized. I can't wait to get home and read all of my "spiritual" books I have so I can grow closer to Him. I am going to be God's most dedicated disciple. :)
Home. It is our comfort zone. Our place to relax and enjoy the things that make us happy. It is also the place where a lot of us lose our "want". As soon as I sit back to watch whatever football game is on, I lose my want. Why? Because my want to please God is not my priority.
When God took our family through this past summer and we lost Shyloh and Tyce, I knew I had grown closer to God. But, as time went on I found myself walking away from God, then running from Him, and lately it has seemed like I've been sprinting. I know why. I feel cheated and when you feel cheated, you get angry and I am more angry than you could imagine. If God is so powerful and so good, why do bad things happen?



I think I found my issue. My want is of the world and not of God.

God never said it would be easy to have a relationship with Him. The first step is wanting to have a relationship with Him and when we make Him our priority we will begin to see how our doubts and lack of faith in God slowly disappear. For me it's not so easy. I give Him all of my anger. I give Him my fears. I give Him me one day at a time.

We sang this song at church this morning. It's the first time I have ever heard it but it really spoke to me. I hope it speaks to you.



Please pray for our family. Please pray for me and my want for God.