The touch, the feel, the moments of our lives.

In the words of the talking heads, "how did I get here....". How did we get to where we are at this very moment? Our actions, our choices, our chances. These were some of the thoughts that I had as I was driving home tonight. I had just dropped Shae off with my parents and as I was driving I noticed this empty pit in my stomach. I was missing my daughter. Don't get me wrong, this isn't the first time I've ever missed her but tonight was just something different. Pulling up in the driveway of our house didn't help me either. There was the ball we were playing with earlier in the day. In the living room I noticed the toys I had asked her to clean up were still laying scattered out on the floor. The house was quiet. I miss my family.

The outside:

I thank God every single day that I am where I am in my life. I have a beautiful wife. I have a beautiful daughter. We are all in good health. We have our own house. We are a family and I LOVE it. I smile at the thought. I understand that this could all change at any moment. I am a blessed man. I am a lucky man.

The inside:

I am tortured. I damage my body every single minute. I worry. I agonize. I am afraid. Afraid of death. Afraid of losing what's most important to me. "Every life must end." Was it my choices that made me this way or was it the 2 that help bring me into this world? Perhaps it was the 2 that reared me. Perhaps it was the times I was wronged or the times that I wronged. "How did I get here....."

The guarantee:

I sit here on our somewhat warn, leather couch. I look at the wrinkles that have developed over the years. I wonder where these pen marks come from.

I am this couch. I am worn. I am wrinkled. I am stained. But I am still here. I still provide a foundation. I still provide comfort. I still provide a place where anyone can come and rest and I always will. No matter how much I worry. No matter how much I am afraid. I push on. I am ecstatic. I am tomorrow. :) :) :)

Jesus Christ:

"Practiced are my sins." I come clean.

Scott

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