Renee's Perspective:
I want to first thank everyone for the messages, comments, phone calls, & texts. I hope you understand that I haven't read or listened to them because I am just not ready. Please know that I am just grieving privately with my family and when the time is right I will reply to each of you. My Mom, Dad & Scott have relayed a lot of messages... THANK YOU for your love and support, but I am just not ready to talk yet.
It's funny. My Mom and I had a conversation about people asking, "How are Renee and Scott doing?" She always politely says, "As good as can be expected." We think people don't really know what to say or what to ask, and that's ok. We really don't know what to say right now either. We are all physically fine. But, asking the Lord to help mend our broken hearts.
Here's a little about what happened.....
On Wednesday the 9th I had some very rough contractions at about 4 am. I was put back on magnesium to stop them and had an ultrasound as soon as, Jill, our Sonographer, came in. I could see right away that there were no heart beats. After all, I've seen Shyloh & Tyce everyday at our ultrasounds. I've learned what to look for and have asked questions along the way so I can see things for myself. Dr. Q. came in shortly after and confirmed what I already knew. I was then told I would be taken off the Magnesium so that I could have my contractions and deliver my babies.
On June 10th I gave birth to two beautiful boys. Tyce Lynn & Shyloh Lee Britt. Although I never heard them cry, they never looked up at me or held my finger in their hands, they were our little fighters.... our very own tiny Angels sent by God. I was able to hold them. Hug them. Tell them I loved them. My Dad even anointed them with oil, prayed over them and read the bible to them. It was heartbreaking as a mother, but I know they are in Heaven saving seats for us.
God has been so good to us and continues to work in amazing ways! We always say every day is a good day, because it truly is. God gives us a sunrise and a new beginning every single morning. Is it hard sometimes, ABSOLUTELY, but we know God has a big enough band aid to eventually heal our hearts. Plus, we know God gave us Shae first for a reason. The other day we had a tea party that was absolutely hilarious. We needed to laugh that hard.
Through our grieving, our family has become closer. I feel like my hand fits even more perfectly in Scott's. We will continue to praise God in ALL things. We ask that you continue to pray for us and our time of healing.
We never knew the impact our boys and their fight would have on so many people. We just started blogging to get out what all was going on in our pregnancy. It's crazy to see all the ways God has worked through this blog.
Hebrews 11:1 Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.
P.S. Shyloh & Tyce have inspired me to go back to school and get a degree in diagnostic sonography. I hope to be able to help other mothers see their beautiful babies just as I was able to see mine!!
Renee
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4 comments:
My prayers are with you and there are NO WORDS. I got to know my babies each day too through ultrasound too and know your pain. I am so glad you held them and had time with your beautiful babies as a family, and yes someday you will see them again. Hugs, prayers, and I am here if you ever want to contact me:
In His Love,Jessica jsbressington@hotmail.com
Thanks for the update. I have been looking everyday. I know the pain you feel and my heart continues to ache for you and your family. I to wrote my blog to keep everyone update and though it, it touch many all over the country. There was even a front page story in our local news paper on mother's day that continue to spread our son's message and how wonder God is even when things don't turn out as planned. God Bless You
Hey My Sweet, Sweet Renee. My prayers are with you and your family through this most difficult time. I don't really have the right words to say so I'll just say what's on my heart. I admire the faith you have in our mighty God and I admire the women you are for loving God through this time, still able to see that all things work for the good through him. I admire you for all those things because I am not sure if I would still be that woman of faith if I was placed in your shoes. Renee, those baby boys were perfect right from the very beginning, and God had a plan all along. Those baby boys were fighters because their parents are fighters. You are a woman who overcomes adversity like no other. I only pray that God can grant me that same time of courage when I am faced with adversity in my life! I love you, I'm here anyway you need, but most of all I'm praying for God's "band aid" to heal the hearts of your family! May God be with you now and always!!
Renee,
You are an amazing woman and have a wonderful family... I look everyday for an update to the blog... And while there are no words that will make things better, I just want you to know that reading your blog is an inspiration to many people. You have handled things like most people would never be able to and I admire you for that. In time, God will place his "band aid" on this, but you and your family will never forget your little boys.. You will always be a family of 5... Your family is still in my thoughts and prayers... If you ever need anything, just let me know..
With Love, Lisa
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